<3
<3

Colette med Toby

All about Eve
INT. MARGO'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
It's many Martinis later. Most of the guests have gone. The
party has reached that static state - everyone's assumed more
or less permanent places.
Birdie passes, carrying a cup of coffee. CAMERA FOLLOWS her
to the piano where Margo sits on the bench beside the
pianist. He is just finishing "Liebestraum" and she stares
moodily into a Martini. Birdie halts beside her with the
coffee. Margo looks up. Birdie holds out the coffee. Margo
takes the onion out of the Martini, drops it into the coffee
and waves Birdie away. Birdie goes. "Liebestraum" comes to an
end. The pianist tries to ease into a more sophisticated
rhythm. Margo stops him.
MARGO
(quietly)
"Liebestraum."
PIANIST
I just played it.
MARGO
Play it again.
PIANIST
But that was the fourth straight
time.
MARGO
Then this will be five. I suppose
you think I'm too drunk to count.
PIANIST
No. You're just crazy about
"Liebestraum."
MARGO
"Liebestraum."
PIANIST
Look, Miss Channing... it's kind of
depressing. If you don't mind my
saying so, everybody's kind of
dying on the vine...
MARGO
My dear Horowitz. In the first
place, I'm paying you union scale.
Second, it's my piano. Third, if
everybody doesn't like kind of
dying on the vine, they can get off
the vine and go home.
"Liebestraum."
Unhappily, he plays "Liebestraum." Margo sips her Martini,
stares down into it again. Bill tiptoes up.
BILL
(whispers)
Many of your guests have been
wondering when they may be
permitted to view the body. Where
has it been laid out?
MARGO
(somberly)
It hasn't been laid out, we haven't
finished with the embalming. As a
matter of fact, you're looking at
it. The remains of Margo Channing.
Sitting up. It is my last wish to
be buried sitting up.
BILL
(trying to kid her out of
it)
Wouldn't you feel more natural
taking a bow?
MARGO
You know nothing about feelings,
natural or unnatural.
BILL
Then without feeling, your guests
were also wondering whether the
music couldn't be a shade more on
the - shall we say, happier side?
MARGO
If my guests do not like it here, I
suggest they accompany you to the
nursery where I'm sure you will all
feel more at home.
Hans inre öga hade sett mig komma.
<3
<3

Adieu Tristesse
Bonjour Tristesse
Farewell Sadness
Hello Sadness
You are inscribed in the lines on the ceiling
You are inscribed in the eyes that I love
You are not poverty absolutely
Since the poorest of lips denounce you
Ah with a smile
Bonjour Tristesse
Love of kind bodies
Power of love
From which kindness rises
Like a bodiless monster
Unattached head
Sadness beautiful face.
<3
Salut, c'est la mort
- Inser du att det är livsfarligt? frågar hon
Jag nickar.
- Värre än rysk roulette och popstjärneförälskelser. Det är din stackars själ som står på spel igen, förstår du det?
Jag gömmer ansiktet bakom en ridå av hårslingor och fingrar och viskar:
- Om fallet blir brutalt, plockar du upp mig då?
- Det vet du att jag gör.
<3
Undine
Your laughter is light, your caress deep,
Your cold kisses love the harm they do;
Your eyes-blue lotus waves
And the water lilies are less pure than your face..
You flee, a fluid parting,
Your hair falls in gentle tangles;
Your voice-a treacherous tide;
Your arms-supple reeds.
Long river reeds, their embrace
Enlaces, chokes, strangles savagely,
Deep in the waves, an agony
Extinguished in a night drift.
- Renée Vivien
<3
<3

not knowing how to drive
not owning a car
I drove and knocked down
people I loved
…went 120 through one town.
I stopped at Hedgeville
and slept in the back seat
…excited about my new life.
–Gregory Corso
<3

<3

I’ve dreamed of you so much you’re losing your reality. Is there still time to reach that living body and kiss on that mouth the birth of the voice that’s dear to me? I’ve dreamed of you so much that my arms, used to crossing on my chest as I hug your shadow, couldn’t fold themselves around the shape of your body, maybe. And faced with the actual appearance of what’s haunted me and ruled me for days and years, I would probably turn into a shadow. O what a sentimental pair of scales. I’ve dreamed of you so much there’s probably no more time for me to wake up. I sleep standing up, my body exposed to all the appearances of life and love and you, the only thing that counts for me today. I’d probably reach for the first lips and face that came along, than your face and your lips. I’ve dreamed of you so much, walked so much, talked, slept with your phantom that maybe there’s nothing left for me to do but be a phantom among the phantoms and a hundred times more shadow than the shadow that strolls and will go on strolling cheerfully over the sundial of your life.
- Robert Desnos
<3

xXxXXxXXxxXxx

”Allt är nu det är alltid nu det kommer aldrig en tid då jag inte kryper ihop och ser på andra som också kryper ihop jag kryper alltid ihop.”
det är uppsatsperiod och jag lever som i exil på mitt rum. jag minns en annan version. jag minns hon som drack körsbärsvin för att stå ut med lektionerna i franska, hur hon grävde ner offergåvor i mammas rosenrabatter för att få en enda önskan att gå i uppfyllelse. jag minns hur hon smög ner för trappor om nätterna, kalla trappsteg mot naken hud. jag minns hur hon gick på tå trots att hon var ensam hemma, musiken, kandelabrarna och elfenbenstangenterna. jag minns hennes ritualer; hur hon alltid stängde dörren bakom sig och väntade på ett klick, hennes ordnade kaos och vilken bok hon alltid hade på nattdukdsbordet. jag minns utsikten, den skumma belysningen och den vackraste natten av dem alla.
nu är allt borta, till och med rosenbuskarna.